Getting There. . . .

I've decided to do my hair up in Victory rolls like these pictures:












And I got shoes last night. So cute!

Wedding Worries

I'm not usually this girly. . .but I don't know what to wear! I have a wedding to go to this weekend. Only six days left to figure out what to wear, how to do my hair, make-up??? All my clothes seem drab and bland, lacking in the appropriate flavor for these friends of mine and their special day.

I've thought about sewing something but I don't think I have the energy - or a trustworthy pattern that I KNOW will look good. And I don't really want to spend a whole bunch of money on an entirely new outfit.

Oh, my gosh. So many "don'ts".

I need a haircut.

Okay, sorry. This has just turned into a weird stream-of-consciousness worry-fest about this weekend. But if you have any thoughts on what a "big girl" can pull off for a wedding, let me know. :)

Also, the guest book is almost done. There were some snags along the way. I'll put up a separate post about it with pictures. I am doing all the inside stuff tonight and tomorrow - all the lines and little drawings and words and such.

Oh, another question for you guys. . . . What's inside a wedding guest book? Just lines for people to write their names? The last wedding I went to was a few years ago and I made the guest book for that one too (not a traditional one either).

A Note About Doctors

anonymous commented:

i wish you could be a doctor for one day. i wish you knew how difficult it can be. way harder than knitting a cable or spinning a fiber. train 9-10 years, about 150,000 dollars in debt just to train, treat 40 patients a day, some honest about their symptoms, some lying about the drugs they're on. i wish most of all, though, that diseases read textbooks so they would know to 'obey' all the perfect signs and symptoms so a misdiagnosis never would be made. i enjoy my work, but i've had patients vomit on me, i've disempacted the rectums of the mentally ill, have a psychiatric patient threaten to kill me, hunt me down. you name it i've seen it.


I know that feeling of "I wish, just for one day or a few weeks, that you could live my life/do my job/see what I see." I can't even count how many times I've even said that too. And I will admit that it was a generalization about doctor's being pricks. But finding that one doctor in 30 that will/can actually spend some time listening to what's going on, the one who will weigh their medical experience with your experience of living in your body your whole life, the one who will admit, "I'm not sure what's going on. Let's do some more tests." - it's hard. Doctor's jobs are made even more impossible by our health system which seems to stand in their way at every turn.

And it makes me even more angry that people who are addicts or liars have severely impaired my ability to find a way to manage my chronic pain because the laws and rules now trust no one to be able to take medication responsibly. It makes me nuts that our legal system allows people to bring lawsuits against their medical professionals when it was really the patient themselves who had been an idiot.

And after two years of dealing with doctors and medical establishments for my job, I have to also admit that a huge majority of them were, indeed, pricks. People who didn't listen to you when you were trying to make their jobs easier, who disparaged their patients right in front of their faces, who insult their nursing staff and support personnel, who do procedures without pain management or medication and leave their patients screaming in agony when it could have been avoided fairly easily.

But I am so grateful that those few really good doctors exist and that I have found some. I'm grateful for the years of medical school and sacrifice so that when I've shown up in the emergency room and in the operating room, they have helped me fix my body so that it works better. Because without them, I wouldn't be alive today.

Friday Archives

In 1999 I got laid off from my job for the first time. Back then, the economy was very different. I had the luxury of effectively saying, "Well, I'll just take a few months off, collect unemployment and then go back to work." Ah, the life of a young person!

During a conversation with a friend soon after the lay-off, she suggested I go to the Grand Canyon. "You've always wanted to go. Now would be the perfect time." And damned if I didn't make some reservations, borrow my dad's truck and drive down to the Grand Canyon all by myself. A bit out of character at the time. I essentially didn't speak to anyone for 6 days. It was glorious.

This was my favorite spot - I think it was at the east end of the south rim. I sat there on that edge by that building, looked out over the canyon, watched the birds swoop and dip with the thermals and truly understood in that moment how huge our souls really are.

This is one of the only pictures I haven't lost track of in the last 9 years. I come across it once in a while and it never fails to touch me and remind me of that moment.

An Intriguing Idea

Knowing what you know now, if you could go back in time and have a conversation with yourself 10 or 20 years ago what would you say to you?

You’ve been through a lot for a twelve year old and while I’m not going to tell you the future, there are some things that might help guide the way a bit. I can’t make the bad things suck any less but I can tell you that you are going to make it through and probably not remember the bulk of them.

Keep reading as much as you can. It makes you smarter, more imaginative, more interesting as a human being, and gives you a bigger vocabulary. Try to keep a journal. Don’t worry about writing every day. Also, you have more to say than you think. Even the boring details of your life will provide some insight later on – and will be important to help you figure out what actually happened.

Remember that every family has secrets. No family is that picture perfect facade that they show to everyone else in church. And our family has plenty of secrets. Keep them. One day you will have the resources to deal with it. I promise.

You have something called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. The doctor’s won’t know what it is and won’t categorize and diagnose you until it’s well on it’s way to disrupting your life. You will have to take charge of your health care and be very clear and adamant about how they treat you. You might not really learn how to do this until later. Don’t worry too much about it. Get something called a supra-cervical hysterectomy as soon as you can track down a doctor who will do the procedure. This might not be possible to do because doctor’s are pricks and don’t realize that you can make the right choices for yourself even when you are young. But it will save you money and grief later on in life.

Oh, and that thing in 1998. It’s your gall bladder. The doctor’s misdiagnose that too. Have them do an ultrasound.

School. Junior high is going to be hell. Don’t be afraid to tell your parents what is going on. You are going to be okay, though. You will. Start taking art classes as soon as you can. Don’t be afraid to opt for shop class instead of home-ec. Don’t label yourself. Don’t let others label you. It serves nothing. Calm down with the religious rhetoric. You will find one day that it doesn’t serve a purpose in your life either – and will just make you feel embarrassed. Because really, it’s nowhere close to the whole picture even though they try to make you believe it is.

The last thing I will tell you is the most important. You are an amazingly gifted person. Those things that you wish you were – YOU ARE! You have pushed some things away because in doing so, you protect yourself. And so it should be. But one day you will be impatient and demand of the Universe (of God) that those gifts and talents come back. And they will. Don’t worry. You will see the beauty of the world in a way few others can or ever will. Trust your instincts and intuition over everything and everyone.

Love, Shannon @ 32

P.S. When you have that dream about the lottery numbers? Play them every week for at least two months. You won't be sorry.

Idea came from here.
What would you tell yourself?

Crafty Saturday

I'm trying out my new tool! It's the weird little contraption (second picture down) called a Bind-it-all (woops! I thought it was Zutter but that is the name of the company.) Man, I wish this would have been around a few years ago. This thing makes me insanely happy. I've wanted to make wire-bound journals for ages and I can finally do it myself. The really cool thing is that you can make them whatever size you want. This little green guy right below is only 3.5in tall, though.
Here was one of my first experiments with bookbinding. It turned out okay except for one thing:
You can only open it this far. Um. . . oops. Other than that, it worked pretty well.
I've been exploring different methods to see what I want to use for the guest book I am making for my friends wedding coming up here pretty soon. I actually think I am going to use the wire-binding because that way it is guaranteed to open flat. But I like the look of the black book cloth along the edge so I will probably incorporate that too. I'll post pictures when it's done. (I'm also going to put little thumbprint characters inside to match the invitations!)


Also, I've been putting together a little care package for my friend Emily who is going through a hard time right now. The little polka dotted owl from a few posts ago is flying on her way as well as some other fun things. There's nothing like a phone call from a distraught friend to make you wish you lived in the same city. Or that gas prices were lower.


I'm feeling stronger today, really enjoying an empty house, and feeling toasty from the warmth of your comments on the last post. I am so grateful for the awesome people who are out there.

Nitty Gritty

There's a little devil sitting on my shoulder (or in my head, or hovering around) that's trying to make me feel guilty for not posting very often in the last few weeks. But I've given it a swift kick in the behind and sent it on its way.

I've done a bit of self-analysis about why I am blogging, why I continue to like it, why I want to keep going even if sometimes it may be sporadic. I've been pretty sad about some of my favorite bloggers walking away from their blogs but really understand it too. My stress levels lately have been pretty sky high (for me) and my head is still buzzing. I find myself starting a post and then not really being able to form sentences. Which is frustrating. I'm constantly playing around with that line between too much information and simply writing about what I ate today. I'm not usually interested in what people had for breakfast but going into depth about what's going on is sometimes not a wise thing in this day and age of digital information.

And then I wonder if people are really interested in the nooks and crannies of a psychic's mind. I wonder if people who come here to check out the crafty side of things are going to be sidelined or put off by all the other sides of the things in my head. I think about the people who read this blog but don't comment. Are you out there? I know you are. Out in the world - Australia, Europe, Canada, Dubai (really?), England, Finland, etc. Are there things about which you would like to hear more? Do you have questions?

Here are a few things I have been thinking about, checking out, worrying about, obsessing over and really grateful for: (in no particular order)

Jennifer - this post. Really all of her posts. She seems to be on the same mental wavelength as I am. Which makes me happy because I can say, "read this - it sums up what's in my head right now" and takes off a bit of the pressure to be articulate.

The obsessing bit? This show. I'm not one for being glued to the TV but this little series has knocked me over. SO INTERESTING! One of the sailors on the show - so cute! I just want to take him home and make him dinner or something.

Worrying - I need some more friends. Which sounds (in my head) a little pathetic to admit. But I think it's a pretty important part of life. A lot of people around me are going into phases of their lives that I don't really identify with. So I've filed a request with the Universe to help me find people that I can connect with and share my life with, people who are going to participate, with whom I won't have to do all the work.

Grateful - the amazing help that is available to us if we just open up to it. I've been doing a new Reiki share with another practitioner and our session on Wednesday was truly healing. The raw power that can be at our fingertips absolutely blows me away. It makes me want to be better, do better, heal more. It makes the dreams in my head and heart seem completely and utterly possible.

I'm thinking of you all every day and wishing you well. I may not be able to reach out but know that you are in my heart. Send me questions if you like, I'll do my best to answer if I can.

I'll talk to you soon!

Grateful

I had a really amazing night after a really sucky past week and a half. It's nice to not feel so. . . raw.

I'm Not Tired Of Them Yet

And The Winner Is. . .

Congrats! The owls will be in the post on Monday!

Twitterings

My head has been full of talking lately. Too many thoughts running amok in there. But owl love is ever present here in blogland. Here are some more of them that were requested from my co-workers. The orange and brown one is Margaret, the green one is Willow. Willow was originally supposed to go to a friend but she turned out kinda funny and I decided she could live here at the office with me. Maybe her twin sister can go to my friend instead. Penelope was made for another co-worker but I couldn't get a good picture of her. She's not very photogenic. She's better in person!



I am going to draw the winner of the giveaway tomorrow, so stay tuned! Thanks, everyone, for entering and playing along.



I'm hoping to be back to my semi-normal blogging schedule soon. I've needed some time away to let my brain rest. I hope you guys have a good weekend!

Feelin' Snarly

Is that even a word? It's how I feel today, though. The day after I posted for the giveaway (sign up if you haven't already!) my car did the "hey, I'm going to light up your check-engine light and see how high your blood pressure can go" thing. It was super-fun.

And four days later, my checking account many hundreds of dollars emptier, here we are. The good news is that all the owls had an outing to come here to my workplace. Everyone oooh-ed and ahhh-ed over them appropriately. If we thought they were staying here in the northwest, maybe they would become intermittent staff (the overnight variety, of course). Peter, or Grandpa Pete as my co-workers named him, had a good time too! Nice to have company of the owl variety, he thinks.

Then there were requests for more. So continue to look for more of them popping up once in a while. (Penelope will be the next.)

The Motley Parliament (as I have called them) are pretty much done. Elizabeth will come with a special added touch. They'll all have little owl stories to go with them as well. Who doesn't like a good owl story? No one, that's who.

Happy Friday Giveaway

First, everyone go over here to read Liz's post for today. I love her blog so much and love the reminders to see and feel and live, those reminders to do things that society has given little value to but which remain the most important things. This post from her is what I wish I everyone could deeply, deeply understand. It's the thing we forget the most, I think. Thanks, Liz!

And now (did you go read her post? Really? Cuz we can all wait while you go click on it. . . . Ok, read? Good.) the giveaway part.

I was hoping to have a cute little picture for you this time, but you know how it goes. I seem to be a procrastinator. (hahahahahahahaha! if you only knew what an understatement that was!) But you will just have to imagine having a little parliament of owls all to yourself!! I'm giving away owls! A group of five to be exact. There will be Liam, Basil, Helen, Seamus, and Elizabeth. All waiting to come and live in your part of the world!

Leave a comment on this post if you want to participate.....pictures have arrived! Only some of them have come to the photo shoot. Why do Helen and Liam have to be so difficult? Maybe they had somewhere to be today. Who knows! Shown (from left to right): Elizabeth, Basil, and Seamus.

Have a great weekend!

Hi, Folks!

Oh, happy Tax day (for everyone here in the U.S.)! I don't usually wait until the last minute to file, but there they are in my bag, waiting to be mailed out today. What can I say? When you have to send the government a big freakin' check, you just want to hold on to your little dollars as long as possible before sending them off on their little voyage.

The picture above is little Peter. He just showed up this weekend on my craft table. After seeing this beautiful tutorial (which I really wish had a pattern attatched) with all the little beautiful owls looking up expectantly from their parliament (did you know that you call a group of owls a parliament?), I knew I had to see if some wanted to come and live with me. I love her little tweed ones so I dug into my fabric stash for some plaid wool I knew I had. I bought a skirt at Goodwill forever ago (seriously, forever - like, over ten years ago) that I wanted just for the fabric.

He's a very smart owl. Drinking Vitamin water and all. He knows where it's at.

Also on the list of things I did this weekend was a birthday card for a co-worker. I'm not sure how long I will be making the quilt cards. You never know with my attention span. But I am still really digging how they come out. No two the same, you know.

Um....what else? Oh, McKay and I went to Crafty Wonderland on Sunday. That was way cool! A room full of people like me, how can you go wrong? Hee hee. And stopped by Redux on the way back to the cars. Portland rocks.

Got a beautiful postcard from a friend all the way across the country. (Hi Rachel!) In this day and age of instant communication, there seems to be something magical about a little handwritten note.

Seems to be all for now. (I almost hit "publish post" without adding pictures! Silly me!)

Stay tuned for later in the week. I'm thinking of doing another giveaway.

Just When You Need It,

The Universe gives you encouraging messages. This one, from my spam e-mail, was absolutely perfect for today.

"Stop feeling inadequate right now!"

Thanks, Universe! I will.

Oh, Wednesday

This is actually the second or third post I have written today. Thankfully, none of the other incarnations will be posted. They were a little. . . rant-ish. This morning started off not very well. But the day has gotten better (or at least it hasn't gotten worse). It kind of peaked with me spilling my coffee all over my keyboard. I think it can be saved, though. It's drying out now after being cleaned as deeply as I could manage without a screwdriver to take it apart.

The really good news is that I am headed out after work to see another Reiki practitioner in Portland. It's been a little while since I've done Reiki that wasn't either distance Reiki or on myself. I'm so looking forward to some quiet time with another practitioner who I really like and trust.

After some real soul searching and questioning and some time away from the practice of group Reiki, I decided that I wasn't going to go back to it. This is a fairly recent decision but as soon as I made up my mind, it instantly felt like the right one. I realized that I just really feel more comfortable being able to decide who I work on and who works on me. A friend of mine today made the analogy between choosing your Reiki practitioner and choosing a therapist. You wouldn't just walk into a room and pick one out of a lineup or something. (which, I just realized, makes it sound like an episode of Law & Order - not intentional) While some people may be able to have just anyone work on them, personally I need to be a bit more picky.

Maybe it also has to do with the fact that I didn't start doing group Reiki until much later after I had become a practitioner. I was too used to working one-on-one by that point. Either way, it has been a good decision so far.

Anyhoo. . . just a little bit of what's going on with me. In crafty news, I think I am going to apply to be part of Crafty Wonderland here in Portland. I want to try it for a month and see how I like it. (if they accept me) Hey, speaking of which, they are having it this Sunday.

In other crafty news, Church of Craft is meeting April 20th. Also on that day, a craft swap at Union Rose from 1pm-2:30pm. I'm going to try to make it to both if I can. Anyone want to come along?

A Coptic Stitch For Saturday

What I did yesterday. Not quite sure I did it correctly, but it came out okay. I actually find I am quite smitten with this little book.

Right Now

What's happening on my desk right now: Pirate/Devil ducky war (See picture)

How many caramel Cadbury eggs I have in my possession currently: 0

How many I would like to have: 2 or more, please. (not for all at once)

What I am going to make when I get home tonight: quilt cards

When they will be listed in my Etsy store: by Friday, April 4th.

How many stray (unused) napkins are on my desk at the moment: 10 (I think they multiply when I'm gone)

What music I am listening to right now: David Gray

How frustrated I am with Blogger's automatic formatting: very.

Soon To Be Listed. . . .Drumroll Please

More sneak peeks into what will be listed soon in my Etsy store! Everything will be uploaded and updated by midnight (PST) Wednesday, April 2nd.

Ha! Peeps!

found this link. Please go to it and see/love the peep dioramas! My favorite? Peeplona - The Running of the Peeps.

An Odd Sort Of Day

Do you ever have those days when everything you say comes out wrong? I totally thought that Mercury might be in retrograde or something . . . but no. I checked the astrology site and that wasn't it. So maybe it's just one of those weird days.

All my energy seems to be a bit stirred up from last nights dreams and the SRT clearings I am continuing to do for myself. I've been finding that spending about 15 or 20 minutes to do clearings for myself and others is just about right. I'm sure there will come a time when I am doing it for an hour or so, but I still feel very much a beginner in this method and am allowing myself to begin very slowly. This is actually quite a change for me as I tend to dive headlong into new endeavors and get swallowed up very quickly.

In other news, I spent yesterday taking pictures of the things I will be selling on Etsy. I hope to have them loaded by Wednesday. I'll update when I get it done.

(see, even as I look over this post, the words seem kinda. . . .weird.)

Ah, well. I feel big changes nipping at my heels. I'm opening my arms to the beauty and prosperity I feel all around me.

How are you doing?

A Banner Breakthrough

Thanks to McKay, found a way to make a cool banner for my etsy page. I like how it turned out (taking into account I fumbled quite a bit through the process). Using Gimp wasn't so bad. I'm glad to have it. I predict many more hours in front of the computer, and behind the lens, because of it. I'm slowly but surely getting the store set up. Tomorrow I will conquer the "profile" part. By next week there should be items listed!

I'm doing a little workshop of sorts this weekend. Some friends of mine are coming over to make little boxes. Like these, kinda:
I predict awesomeness will ensue.

Being A "Joiner"

I just joined twitter. A service/site (micro-blogging!) that I never really understood before. But reading this made me want to join and see if I will like it. So we'll see. If anyone out there wants to read mine it is at: www.twitter.com/birdstar

If you are so inclined, send me yours if you are a member so I can follow along too!

Some Things, Lately

A commissioned project for a friend of a friend and a quilt card I made for an internet friend who recently lost someone dear.

A Bit O' Excitement

Got registered for my Etsy shop today. So excited! I still have to figure out all the rules and get my banner up and pictures taken of my things to sell, but I am one step closer and that is pretty darn cool.

When it's ready it will be at --> www.birdstardesigns.etsy.com

Bravery

Change. I don't know if there is any other force in the world with which I have such a love/hate relationship. No matter how much I pray and plead for it, I rarely find myself truly ready when it comes. Maybe that is a lack of preparation on my part. :)

I was reading this post from a woman here in Portland going through a cancer scare and my heart went out to her. Having lived through my mother's breast cancer and my own path towards (and preemptive surgery) the Big C, it touched me. Having someone in the medical profession say those words to you is the most surreal experience - especially when you have already seen a family member go through the same fight. I remember vividly the flippant response someone gave me when I told them what the doctor had said. I knew that she wouldn't understand unless she had to hear those words too.

Alex's story touched me and made me start thinking about change. She asks, "I am curious what change can or has meant to you, what your relationship with change is or what do you want it to be?"

One of the best things, I realized, is that my relationship with change has developed over the years. When I was young, I never seemed to adjust to things with the same frequency or tenor that others did. When they processed something quickly, I got frustrated that it took me an extra four months to get used to it. As I have gotten older I've gotten used to really paying attention to my own internal sense of time and change - to letting myself adjust to things in a more natural tempo. Quick successions of change still leave me a bit rattled, but I have better tools at my disposal now (Reiki, SRT, a better support system of friends/family) to help me through those spots. I also strive to see the patterns in how things change. I hold the belief (hope?) in my heart that these things are changing so that I can reach a better, higher level of who I am and who I want to become.

I've found ways of bringing the change I want into my life, of not just leaving it to the whim of the Universe. I've realized that we have some control and some responsibility over what happens. What I have realized is that the better you know yourself the easier change is to incorporate. But once in a while it still totally sucks.

Alex, what bravery you needed (and had!) these past weeks! I'm so happy things turned out okay. My heart sings for you.

Sneak Preview

You know when you have an idea and the execution of said idea is so close to your imaginings that you are inordinately proud of yourself? Yeah, that's what this was. It needs a little something more which I am still working on, but so far it has turned out exactly like I thought it would.

Update: Oh, thank you for comments! My heart is all warm and gushy! I thought of butterflies too. I also might include a quote on a thin piece of paper wound in and through the branches and petals. But then of course, which quote?? Lately I have been partial to this one: "Each moment is absolute, alive, and significant."
I was pretty glad that people even knew they were hydrangea's. I am going to make at least three in the typical hydrangea colors (blue, green, pink). This project is really getting me excited to get my stuff on Etsy. I think this weekend is going to be the time to dive in and get it done!

I Just Made Clothes For A Goose

Not sure how proud of that I am. But it needed something to wear for Easter. The Santa suit wasn't working anymore.

In Which I Have Ideas

One of the things I got this weekend. Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith. I have been reading her blog ever since I have been blogging myself and I am constantly amazed by her work ethic when it comes to her art. As you can see, I have already started wrecking - writing on the edges. There is one page in which you are asked to write one word over and over again. I started putting too much thought into it so I finally just picked one and went with it. My word? TARANTULA. Cuz I had a dream about one the other night.

I think I'm going to have fun with this.

The weekend was much busier than I thought it would be. Since the first try at making a tunic for myself didn't go very well (burda patterns are weird) I went for one from Simplicity. I really like how they write their patterns (and that they have chosen such an appropriate name for their company!) and I found a kick ass fabric for it. Maybe if all goes well I will post a picture of me (the first for this blog) wearing it. If anyone is curious, it is pattern number 4164.

Michael's also had Martha Stewart Collector's Boxes on sale. Score! I got many more than I am willing to admit to at this point. I have so many ideas! Some of the finished projects using these will be for sale in my etsy store soon. (I mean, as soon as I set the store up)

I thought I was going through a craft break but as soon as I told myself that it was okay to take some time off from making things I got a flood of ideas. That's the way it goes, no? I can't wait to show you things.

That's Good Too.

Sometimes the Universe shrinks down, is winnowed away into only the air around you and the thought in your head, the feeling of your bones, the space of a single moment.

And sometimes it seems so large, ever-expanding, spacious. . . big.

And then there is the magic of connection - that mysterious way I can find you all the way across the world. The way I know we share the same molecule, the way we both try to change and grow and become.

And Love - that thing that carries us, that comforts us, the gravity that holds our body together. That's good too.

hi

I'm here. Which is saying a lot. It has been a strange few weeks.

I'm not exactly sure where to start. I guess. . . Thank you! Thanks Jennifer and Jeannie for your concern. Not misplaced at all, really. I was telling someone the other day that I really have been going through some sort of funk lately. All the work I have been doing on myself through Reiki and SRT and just the process of Life In General has taken a bit of a toll. In a good way, mind you. I think there were some areas of my life that I tend to ignore and the Universe finally tapped me on the shoulder and gently (or maybe not so gently) pushed me in the direction of finally cleaning it up.

A couple of years ago when I had just received my level II attunement for Reiki my life was kind of thrown into minor chaos. Many people report this - the energy of the attunement starts to clear out things and rearrange things so that you can work at a whole different level. I had written a post on a myspace group for Reiki asking if this was a common occurrence. So many people commented that they had the same experience - jobs changed, partners changed, housing changed, relationships, etc. It didn't help the fact that I had lost navigation a bit, but it did help to know that it wouldn't last forever. Someone told me this and I have saved it ever since:

"Sometimes when we rise up to a new vibration on our path to enlightenment we leave behind the things or people or situations that aren't evolving at the same speed."

Periodically, I feel the Universe shifting for me. I will suddenly see a whole group of people drop out of (or come into) my life or the way that I look at some experience will essentially change. It's usually precipitated by dreams of water (oceans, floods, deep expanses) and I have had not one but two dreams in the last week of large bodies of water. It's such a gift when I have those dreams because I know that Change is on the way. I know that these small seismic rumbles have purpose and that if I look at it the right way, I can learn so much about myself and how to move through the world with more joy.

The words of others have been a huge blessing for me during these few weeks. Quotes by Rilke or perfect strangers, doesn't matter. I have been finding small truths everywhere I look. Thus, the beauty of the world. One of the most important gathering of thoughts is this one from Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.”

(the italics are mine)

So that is some of what has been going on. And I'm back, better, seeing things in a new light, wishing you love and joy in your lives as well. Your comments have meant so much to me, thank you in a million small ways for those little words you leave at my doorstep.

In Which I Am Bashful

Tonight I stopped by Redux and saw Lisa's work. Too bad the bashful two year old in me came out and I couldn't introduce myself! (and I saw her too!) But right as we got there, I ran into someone from work and we had a really nice chat.

I'm planning on hitting this on Sunday. Tomorrow will be spent swearing at the Burda pattern I got and getting frustrated with trying to make a pretty shirt. I think I must be missing the little gene that helps me understand sewing patterns. I usually end up just looking at the pictures and figuring it out for myself. Seriously, someone needs to offer a class just in deciphering those things. (and it had a typo in it - does no one proofread them??)

Oh, and by the way - I went to JoAnn's today to get a pair of pinking shears. They carried close to 5 brands of them but didn't have A SINGLE ONE IN STOCK! Did you guys all have a sudden need to buy pinking shears today or do they just REALLY SUCK at keeping things in stock? I'm thinking the latter.

I've been a little quiet lately, a little stressed. I'm still checking in on everyone in blogland but being a bit of a lurker. I hope you are all doing well! Hopefully pictures and WIP's and big thoughts soon. I'm off to sleep listening to the rain on the roof.